Before I begin this blog, I wanted to post this poem I found in my journal. It doesn’t have a date on it, but I wrote it well before I came to México. No title, nothing special, but somehow I discovered it at an opportune time last night.
Why does the fly land on vinegar
When he knows the honey is sweet?
He fears a trap but forgets
That acid would wear him away
And he will fly away
With a foul stench.
Why let the chain of limits and doubt
Pull on my weary achiles
When a lighter yoke awaits
That would free my swelling foot?
Sweet songs of hope and truth
Flood my ears
So why should it make a lick of sense
When I choose the sorrow found in empty lyrics?
Everyday you call me.
I must remember to turn my ringer off silent.
I wrote this, frustrated by the fact that I declared myself a Christian, wore the invisible “Christian” badge that we all wear, read the Bible, but my heart and its true desires were not changing. I’ve come along a little since then, but it is a perplexing question. Can we have a constant euphoria of God’s presence and a constant, unstoppable communion with him, or does it have to be limited to epiphanies and revelations every once in a while? What does it mean to be a Christian? How should I be changing?
I rediscovered this poem last night while listening to a fellow FYMer’s sermon (he got to sub in for Pastor Bob and Bob’s wife Marisa translated). The topic was in Revelation 3:14-20. Here’s a quick re-cap of that from www.bible.com:
To the Church in Laodicea
14“To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
As John was given the seven letters in a vision, God made it clear that he wants us to live 100% for him, sold-out, in love, or not even bother. He deserves it, right? He loves us SO much. Think about it…lukewarm water is gross. If you were to get a mocha, you’d want it to be cold or hot, right? No one orders a lukewarm cup of espresso. Also, if you were getting married to someone, you wouldn’t want him/her to feel lukewarm about you…you’d want him/her to be completely enamored or just break it off.
So many of us Christians go on proclaiming Jesus and then proceed to make complete jerks of ourselves. Granted, we’re not perfect, which is why we are saved by Jesus’s grace alone, but at the same time, we do the cop-out. Jesus forgave us, so now let’s go on buying the things we buy, doing the things we do, living for the same things we did, only Jesus is sort of a mediator-type.
I can think of several things in my life that impede my unending desire for just Jesus. I can think of several hurts in the past that drive my behavior patterns and make me cling to self. Jesus wants us to let him in, but he just waits patiently…even for those who are already Christian.
If you’re spending eternity with Jesus, why wouldn’t you want to start enjoying the fruits of that now? If you don’t want to now, why bother doing it for eternity?
