Okay…so in 20 minutes, here was my crazy week…and the nuggets of wisdom I have extracted from it (that sounds painful). The overall theme? Life is a JOURNEY. Yes, that is also a cliche. Oh well!
One thing I learned this week: we are all children at heart, whether that means that you act immature and irresponsible or you have a cute sense of humor. Sometimes I’m both. This week, I was the former.
Graduation from college usually marks a step of maturity: you are now a freshman at Life University. The occasion of graduation itself is usually a joyous and sober one, with an overkill on compliments from all your family members. But somehow my actions that day sort of nullified that sense of adulthood.
I had learned on commencement morning that I had mistaked the time and place for an award ceremony honoring specific individuals in my language department for their academic achievements. So my professor, the head of the department and someone who happens to think (or thought) very highly of me was politely but deeply disappointed on graduation morning when my notorious ditziness caused me a deep, deep chagrin.
Most adults, especially someone who knows what God’s grace feels like, should deal with their guilt and move on. Instead, I took it out on my mom who had to run out before the lengthy ceremony was over, (even though she sat through 2 hours of boring speeches) and I circumvented the guilty feeling I had on her.
Cute.
Of course, I made amends to my folks, and I have to contact my teacher so I can apologize and grovel in person. From then on, I know God forgives me for my flub-ups, whether those wounded do or not.
The point of this part? My embarrassment that I had still manage to hang on to a large chunk of my former self and the way I act with my mother is a disgrace to the example I should be setting. But a friend of mine, Bonnie, pointed out that walking with God is a journey. In other words, it’s the bus ride, not the bus stop. And sometimes there are stops along the way (or cobblestones in the road you trip on, etc.) that interrupt it.
And with that notion, I would love to hold an aside note out for friends and family: thank you for bearing with me as the changes take place. Whether I have spoken out against you in a condemning way without realizing it (if my dad reads my biography and goes back to the now edited version, he’ll see what I mean) or have vented without realizing the “stinkin’ thinkin’,” I hope you would forgive me. My ultimate goal is to become not a person to alienate those she loves, but to become softer, more welcoming, and a magnetic personality that makes her motives clear and assures others they will never be judged.
On a side note, the other part of my “journey” that has continued forward is the continuing of my trust in God. He’s proved a great feat this week…an anonymous donor donated $120!
Hopefully I will have a chance to edit this later…my time is running up. Thanks for all your love and support, everybody, and have an awesome week!
Jill
